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Monday, September 17, 2012

His grace is sufficient

I struggle with contentment. Can I get an amen?  And as someone who loves to paint and decorate and restyle and rearrange, I feel like I particularly struggle because I’m always eyeing up inspiration.  Inspiration in other people’s homes, inspiration on blogs, inspiration on Pinterest.   Inspiration.  OR comparison?

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It seems as though Satan uses the same schemes internationally.  It doesn’t matter whether we own our own home and earn an income in the states or if we live in RVA’s house and rely on financial donors in Africa. Comparison leads to discontentment here in Africa too.  And all of it breeds an ugly dishonoring mess.  Oh how we need a Savior!

Its not as if it only rears its ugly head about décor and paint colors.  It doesn’t.

It also comes up when I work hard to list the things I’m contributing here at RVA, as though to say that my primary calling to raising my three littles is somehow an unworthy thing to report: the shaping of two boys into men of God & the guarding and molding of this young girl’s heart.  I know deep down that is a worthy high calling, but still I explain away.

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Satan is alive and well in Africa, deceiving and robbing and stealing.  And he tries (and at times succeeds) to convince me that I’m not doing enough, not contributing, not staying afloat and that my house and my things aren’t good enough.   

But Praise be to God that He is indeed living and active and available (and He already won the battle anyway), that His grace IS sufficient and overflowing really, that His plans and purposes are supreme.  

Praise be that He gave us these three young ones to grow up in Him, and that He placed us here at RVA to do life with 400 children of missionaries! Praise be to God that these MK’s are an amazing witness & example to my three (an unexpected blessing of being here).

Praising God for His abundant provision and grace this day!

2 comments:

  1. Praying for you in these adjustments... We first went to Kenya with a 3 year old, 1 year old and being pregnant... It is so exciting to look back and see how God not only used that time in our family, but the community to which He sent us... but I certainly remember feeling just like what you are expressing at that time...
    Praying for you...
    Ellen Hargrave

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  2. I know just the feeling.

    This summer, God has very clearly shown April and I that he is calling us to deeper and more intentional service. We also feel he has shown us where he wants us to go and that our goal is full time vocational service. But we have no idea how we are supposed to get there. Even worst, we have been completely powerless in taking what we see as the first step (buying a home).

    God has convinced us beyond a doubt that his timing and his plan are what is best for us if we will only trust him. And yet, when I see brothers and sisters who are deeper into their calling than we are, I am envious of their clarity of direction. I think to myself "if only I could do that." But "that" is not what God has planned for us and "that" will never be as good as what God wants to give.

    And so we wait, living in a three bedroom apartment, with less than a month before the birth of our fourth child. We know that God has something amazing for us and we are learning to be content here until then.

    Thanks for sharing this struggle. You and Dan have been a true inspiration and it has been a blessing to me to pray for you.

    Kyle Kennedy

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